


The LEWIS METHOD

by NotOddJustaLittleUneven



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Explicit Language, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-20 09:19:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3644994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotOddJustaLittleUneven/pseuds/NotOddJustaLittleUneven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a tiny bit OCD, Darcy Lewis devises a method of organizing Dr. Foster's research so she can survive her internship, with her sanity intact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My only my third fic, the first in this verse. I have loved the character of Darcy Lewis since the first Thor movie.  
> No relationships in this besides friendship because I wanted to get a feel for Darcy first.  
> I hope you enjoy!

**The Lewis Method**

 

It was Thorsday again! Having kicked the junior S.I. scientists and Jane out of the lab at noon with help from the Big Lug, Darcy began her weekly ritual of organizing Jane’s notes. Starting with the mountain that had once been Jane's desk, she began gathering up napkins, and other various scraps of paper with formulas scrawled across them. She wasn't surprised to find the pizza box lid from last nights dinner, the numbers, letters, slashes and dashes written around a grease stain.

 

"Jman, I need some serious tunes in here" Darcy looked up from the fire hazard she was sorting and spoke to the empty room. "Play Thorsday mix #3, I am definitely in need of Gravel and Some Wine!"

 

"Certainly Miss Lewis, I took the liberty of ordering you a larger scanning device, for items that don't fit inside the copy machine." The A.I.s calm British accented voice informed her as the opening bars of her favorite Gin Wigmore song began to play.

 

"My hero!" Darcy exclaimed as her foot began to tap to the rhythm "and please call me Darcy Jman. How can we be besties if you still call me Miss Lewis!"  

  

Her hips began to swing back and forth as she finished sorting through Jane's desk, tossing the PopTart wrappers in the trash. She gathered her pile of Jane's scribblings and danced across the room to the new aforementioned scanner.  Dumping her pile on the counter, she began to sort the papers by the colored ink that was written on them.

 

She had devised this system in the first week of her internship in New Mexico when Dr. Foster demanded she find the fast food bag from three nights before that just happened to have the coordinates she needed right that minute.  Darcy, after an hour of dumpster diving, returned triumphant with the paper bag, put her smelly garbage covered foot down and thus The Lewis Method was born.  After a long hot shower and a quick trip to the office supply store, she sat Dr. Foster and Dr. Selvig down for a "Family Meeting". The method was simple, 7 days in a week, 7 different colored pens, each scientist had a large plastic tub on the floor next to their desk that they were to put any scrap of paper, wrapper, or flat surfaced item that they had scribbled on for the day. At the end of every night, Darcy would empty each bin into a file folder marked with the correct day of the week in the correct color. She would also collect all the pens for that day and put out the correct color for the next day. On Sunday mornings she sorted the file folders, adding dates and hand copying over anything that needed to be disposed of (growing mold) she spent the rest of her day entering all of it into a database she created before storing the hard copies in neatly labeled boxes.  After a couple months, Dr. Foster and Dr. Selvig became Jane and Erik and the storage room was completely filled with boxes and Darcy was running out of storage space.

 

Then a freaking GOD fell from the sky. Jane hit him with the van.  Darcy tasered him.  They fell in love (Jane and Thor), He found his Hammer. The Warriors Three showed up.  Scary Giant Robot Thingy destroyed most of the town before Thor took it down. Then Thor went back to Asgard to deal with his brother Loki, but promised he would come back for Jane.  SHIELD (Jack Booted Thugs) ransacked the lab, and although they solved the storage room problem by stealing all of file boxes, they also confiscated all the computer hard drives, laptops and other equipment. (They even stole Darcy’s freaking Ipod!)  A week later Agent Son of Coul came with a proposition to return everything (Ipod included) and fund Jane’s research.  All three of them had to sign a mountain of forms and nondisclosure agreements before they could get back to work.

It wasn’t long before Erik left them to work on another SHIELD project. Darcy continued her care, feeding, filing and data entry for Jane, who became even more obsessed with recreating the “Rainbow Bridge” (and finding her missing hunk).  Darcy received her six science credits, graduated with a degree in PoliSci from Culver University and went right back Jane’s side.  

Dr. Foster terminated her dealing with SHIELD after she and Darcy were lured to Tromso under false pretenses. “For their protection” was not a valid enough reason for her to miss seeing Thor.  When the ransacking occurred this time Darcy was prepared and had stuffed her Ipod down her pants and had hidden a thumb drive containing her database inside her bra.  Jane was able to secure some grants (After a Freaking ALIEN Attack on New York, funding into space research was plentiful) and moved their operation to England. **  
**

 

Darcy improved her method in London by adding a scanner/copy machine and an Ian (intern) who actually understood the jumbles of numbers and letters on the paper scraps.  They located a crazy spot in an abandoned building. Then Jane got infected with some alien goop, Thor showed up and took Jane to Asgard (Lucky!!!).  She and Ian broke Erik out of the Loony bin (Sans Pants), Jane and Thor returned, and they set about saving the universe from creepy dark elves and destroying most of Greenwich. Ian buggered off to a cushy teaching position at Oxford. (She still got a few drunk dials and texts every now and then) Thor, using his Avenger connections, arranged for Jane, Erik and Darcy to relocate to Manhattan.  After signing another crap load of forms and nondisclosure agreements, (Deja vu anyone) they were now employees of Stark Industries and lived and worked at the Avengers Tower.  Darcy resumed her intern duties under the new job title of Personal Assistant to Dr.s Foster and Selvig.  The title came with an apartment in the Tower and a paycheck that would help her put a dent in her college loans. It wasn’t long before she included Dr. Banner in her scientist wrangling, keeping his favorite tea stocked and bringing him lunch, making sure he ate it.  She had even been able to out snark “The Stark” and get him to eat and sleep on several occasions.  This had not gone unnoticed by the higher ups and she was summoned to the CEO’s office for a meeting.  Pepper (Freaking) Potts offered her a hefty raise and the new job title of “Lab Manager” if Darcy would include Tony in with her charges and get him to sign important papers, eat and sleep regularly, and attend a meeting or two.  Darcy accepted the job and promised to do her best.  Jane was a little miffed about sharing her and refused to allow anyone but Darcy to input her data.  Darcy changed her filing day from Sunday to Thursday and renamed it Thorsday!  She perfected the Lewis Method with the help of Stark’s A.I. JARVIS, who was able to take the formulae and stuff from papers she scanned and automatically enter them into the database. No more data entry for Darcy. (Tendonitis can SUCK IT!) She still kept the hard copies but JARVIS arranged for the boxes to be stored somewhere in a tower sublevel.  She finished scanning the papers and danced over to a file cabinet to place them in their proper folders.  She straightened Jane’s desk and put out the purple pens for Friday, then danced about the lab picking up todays red pens, this job she had actually delegated to the junior S.I. scientists working under Jane in the lab, but on Thorsday’s she didn’t mind, feeling a little nostalgic.  Storing the pens in container marked THORSDAY she called out to JARVIS.

“Locations of my charges please JMan.”  The music volume lowered

“Sir is in Malibu with Miss Potts overseeing the mansion reconstruction” He answered her “Dr. Foster and Prince Thor have left the Tower, using the GPS from their cell phones I have  located them at the Natural History Museum.” He continued

“Banner and Selvig?” she asked

“Dr. Selvig is in Dr. Banner’s lab, they are drinking tea and going over some shared data”

“Please tell me Erik is wearing pants!” Darcy begged

“Yes, Miss Lewis, Dr. Selvig is indeed clothed appropriately”  JARVIS assured her

“Just Darcy, JMan!” She admonished him shaking her finger up at the camera in the corner of the ceiling.

“Sorry Miss Lewis, I will endeavor to try to do better next time” He replied and even though his tone didn't change Darcy could not help thinking he sounded sarcastic.

 

"JARVIS, besides Jane, Thor, and Erik, you know you are one of my best friends. Because of you The Lewis Method has been perfected" She stopped dancing looked back up at the camera. The A.I. was silent for a minute

 

"It has been my pleasure to be of service... Darcy"  He finally answered. Darcy squealed in delight and as the volume raised back up she matched her happy dance to the beat of the music filling the room.

 


	2. The Barton Method

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Foster told Fury and SHIELD to "Take a hike!" He assigned Hawkeye to "observe and report"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Lewis Method was supposed to be a one and done  
> Just an idea on how Intern Extraordinaire Darcy Lewis dealt with the craziness in her life and the lab.  
> And while she danced across the lab, (in my head) I could picture a certain Avenger watching her from inside the duct work in the ceiling.

 

**The Barton Method**

He watched her dance across the lab through the slats in the air vent. Music thrumming around the air duct he was lying in. Clint wouldn't classify himself as a stalker. He was a spy for Christ's sake!  Just because he gotten into the habit of watching on a certain curvy intern didn't mean he was a creeper.  Hell spying on her and Dr Foster had been his first mission post battle of Manhattan after the SHIELD Headshrinkers deemed him fit to return to duty.  Fury had assigned Clint to them himself. **  
**

 

Three Months after Chituari Invasion

"Observe and report Agent Barton" Director Fury had said slamming down two thick manila files on the table in front of Clint before returning to pacing the conference room, hands clasped behind his back.

"I want clones of their cell phones and spyware in their hard drives"  his boss continued as Clint opened the first folder and looked at the pictures clipped to the inside flap. It was a blown up copy of Dr. Foster's Culver University ID.  The second was a surveillance photo taken in New Mexico, the diminutive doctor looked even smaller next to Thor.  The rest of the file contain several typed pages detailing the doctor's history, known associates, past and current research projects, and relationships with Asgardian Princes.

"We will need surveillance in their residence and the lab too! Fury seemed to be getting riled up "Tell SHIELD to take a hike! I don't fucking think so!"  Slamming his hand down on the conference room table he met Clint's surprised eyes, he took a deep calming breath before checking his watch "Wheels up in an hour agent, you're headed to London."  Fury nodded and left the room, good eye still twitching and muttering under his breath. The SHIELD director did not like to be thwarted.

Clint  smirked as he opened the second file, his smile widened as he took in the red smiling mouth of the student ID and photo of the intern flipping off the SHIELD agents carrying away file boxes. The smile faded as he moved on the dossier.  Several notations were made in the margins.  He recognized Coulson's neat precise scrawl.   **  
**

**Subject will taze first and ask questions later.**

**Do not touch IPOD ever!!!!!!**

**Ferociously loyal to Dr.s Foster and Selvig**

**A conversation longer than ten FIVE minutes with Miss Lewis will cause migraines.**

**No genetic relation to Tony Stark.**

**Will make an excellent asset to SHIELD  
**

That last note he gave him pause. The stamp of approval from his former S.O. carried quite a bit of weight. Pushing aside a wave of grief, Clint closed the file and checked his own watch. Wheels up in 40 and he still needed to get his gear.

Clint spent the next week in London, securing an apartment across the street from Foster's mothers flat.  Breaking into the lab and apartment to install the cameras and spyware was child's play.  The cloning of their cell phones was a much better test of his spy craft.  He tackled the easier target first. Dr. Foster's phone was sitting forgotten on a table amongst books of star charts in the Greenwich research library.  He had watched the absentminded doctor and intern go into the stacks.  Seeing his chance, Clint grabbed a library cart and pushed it next to the table. As he began to close the books on the table and place them on the cart, he slipped the cloning device next to the cell phone.  When the device was finished he quickly pocketed it and was about to walk away when a loud squawk of indignation made him look up in surprise.

"I wasn't finished with those"  the pint sized tornado whirling toward him yelled.  Clint backed away with his hands raised.

"Jesus Jane!" A knit beanied head behind a large stack of books hurried behind the manic doctor " He's only doing his job." After depositing the books on the table she started to turn towards him

"Sorry about that she just cranky cause she decided Science was more important than food"  Although Clint was disguised, with his hair longer, dyed darker and a pair of thick glasses, he ducked his head and hurried away to avoid any chance of being recognized.

"Dammit Jane! He was cute! You always scare away the cute ones!" He heard as he exited the room.

 It took him a lot longer to clone Darcy's phone because she was always on it. Constantly tweeting or on Facebook, snapping selfies and posting to Instagram.  He followed her Twitter and Instagram feeds and often laughed out loud at her cutting wit. Clint was beginning to understand why Coulson had tested her DNA against Starks.

After four days of failed attempts to gain access to Darcy's phone (Natasha would never let him live it down if she found out) Clint realized that he would have to get a lot closer to his target.  

**DLewis@LightningSistah - Boss finally crashed after 36 hour SCIENCE bender.** **Putting on my boogie shoes and hittin da club!#shakinmybooty**

After reading her tweet, he tailed Darcy from the apartment to a club in Soho.  While she was let right in past the line, her tight low cut top and short skirt showing her assets off to the appreciative gaze of the two bouncers at the door, Clint had to grease their palms $100 each to get in.  When he entered the dark interior of the club he initially lost his quarry in the sea of people.  He made his way upstairs to a balcony overlooking the dance floor.  Scanning the mass of writhing bodies below, he located Darcy at the bar and watched her toss back two shots in quick succession before winding her way through the crowd to the dance floor.  Clint hurried down the steps and joined the crowd maneuvering quickly around the gyrating bodies until he was a few feet behind her.  Darcy danced with abandon, hair flying, hips swinging and gyrating in rhythm to the pulsing beat filling the club.  He surveyed her body, noting the slight bulge at her right hip where she had stashed her phone in the skirts hidden inner pocket.  He recognized the odd shape on left hip as the outline of a mini tazer. Natasha had clued him in on the mysteries of womens clothing, often pulling weapons and other useful items from thin air while wearing next to nothing.  He quickly palmed the slim cloning device in his right hand and approached the intern.  He gently put his left hand on her hip and waited dancing behind her.  She tensed at the intrusion and she looked suspiciously behind her. She must have liked what she saw because she relaxed and danced back into him, shrugging her shoulders as if to say _Why not?_  He gripped her hip a little firmer and pulled her further back into his embrace, his hips matching the rhythm of hers.  He quickly put his right hand over the hidden cell phone pocket and pressed the button on the cloning device to turn it on.  In response Darcy moved back into his arms, her back pressed to his chest, her ass pressed back into his crotch.  Suddenly Clint forgot the phone, the mission, his orders nothing else mattered but this vibrant beautiful woman in front of him.  He brought his left hand around front to her belly and pulled her even closer to him.  The danced like this for the duration of the song.  Darcy's arms reaching over her head before sliding down her body and over his arms lingering over his biceps. At the start of next song Darcy turned suddenly in his embrace, Clint's hands now resting on her ass.  He quickly moved the left one up to the small of her back, depositing the forgotten cloning device into his pants pocket with the right hand before moving it back to her hip.  She slid her hands up his arms coping a feel of once more before settling them around his neck. Her eyes and red smile flashing in the clubs strobe lights she leaned up on tip toes putting her lips close to his ear.

"Hey Biceps! Buy a girl a shot?" she asked her hands sliding down his arms again. At his nod she turned around and grabbed his hand leading to the dimly lit crowded bar.  Letting go of his hand she leaned forward over the bar, employing her assets to get the bartenders attention, the view of her from Clint's vantage was just as enticing.  She turned back to him holding two shot glasses, inclining her head to the bar behind her, he saw two more shot glasses, a salt shaker and four lemon wedges. He got out his wallet and gave the bartender some bills scowling at the man's obvious appraisal of Darcy's body. He grabbed the shot glasses, shaker and lemon and turned to follow Darcy to an empty high top table in a dark corner of the club.  Darcy grabbed the salt from his hand and Iicked her inner wrist before coating it with salt, he followed suit coating his own hand and picked up a shot glass.

"To nipples! Without them boobs would be pointless!" She crowed, licked the salt and tossed back the shot shuddering as she bit into and sucked on the lemon.

Clint smirked as he downed his own shot biting into the lemon wedge, the sour citrus masking the harsh tequila bite.  Darcy stepped closer to him, grabbed his hand and pulled his wrist to her mouth. Running her tongue over his pulse point and resalting it. She then pushed the lemon wedge rind first between his lips.

"Hold this for me" she ordered before licking his salted wrist, slamming back the shot. She leaned toward him, bringing her mouth closer to his, gently biting the lemon and sucking on it, their lips almost touching.

 As she pulled away from him, removing the lemon from her lips, Clint leaned down and ran his tongue from her clavicle down stopping just above the swell of her left breast. Her skin was salty enough with sweat so he grabbed his shot glass and knocked it back.  Leaning toward Darcy, already placing the last lemon wedge in her mouth.  He pressed his lips to hers, biting down on the lemon and then removing it from between them, before pressing his mouth more firmly to hers.  Her arms wrapped around his neck and she opened to his kiss.  Clint lost himself in her, the pulsing music drowned out by rushing of his blood. He wrapped his own arms around her, pushing her back against the wall and pressing himself against her.  Darcy kissed like she danced, with wild abandon, freely letting go and losing herself in the action.  Clint didn't know how long they were kissing before a vibration by his groin snapped him out of his stupor. A funky tune followed a second vibration and a muffled voice sang _"Weird Science"_ as he pulled back from her.  Darcy's eyes looked as dazed as he felt before they snapped into focus and she dug her phone out of her skirts waist band and answered it.

"Jane! Nows not a good time!" She smiles at Clint sheepishly "What are you doing awake anyway?" Listening a minute "Did you check the cabinet above the electric kettle? I saw a box up there yesterday.  It's Friday Jane use the purple pen I left out for you. And please write on the paper pad. Your mom freaked last time when the green ink wouldn't wash off the living room wall.  I'm the one who had to paint it!" She rolled her eyes and was absentmindedly running her hand along his bicep. "Fine I'm heading back now, but you owe me big time!" Darcy hung up and pulled away from Clint's embrace.

"Sorry Mr. Biceps but I gotta bounce!"  Smiling wistfully she gave his arm one last caress "Maybe I'll see you around" then she turned around and and the crowd of dancers swallowed her up and she was gone.  

Clint shook himself from his daze, _What just happened?_ He cursed and hurried to the club entrance. As he pushed through the door a caught sight of her getting into a cab down the block from the club.  How could he gotten so sloppy? He never had forgotten his mission before! He had acquired his objective and cloned the cell phone back on the dance floor. Why hadn't he backed away from her?  She was part of his mission, his target, not a hookup or a one night stand. Clint shook his head as he flagged down a cab of his own. Natasha would kick his ass if she ever found out.  In the back of the taxi he reviewed the scene in the club in his mind trying to find the point where it went wrong.  Back at the apartment he watched Darcy give Jane a breakdown of the nights events on the monitor.  She had changed from her club outfit into sweats and they were both eating ice cream out the same carton on the small kitchen table between them.

"I'm telling you Jane he wasn't my normal skinny jeaned hipster, he was older, stronger, HOTTER! And those arms! I would have gladly licked this ice cream off his biceps"  Jane looked up from the ice cream lid she had been furiously scribbling on and grabbed another heaping  spoon of ice cream.

"Was he English? Did he have an accent?" She asked Darcy before shoveling the spoonful in her mouth. Darcy contemplated that for a second.

"He actually looked American, like a corn fed Midwestern boy. Yanno what? Now that I think of it, I don't think I even heard him say a word the whole time. But damn could he kiss!"  She sighed and grabbed some more ice cream.  Clint caught himself smiling and bringing his fingers to his lips. He muted the sound and turned away from the monitor.  He booted up his lap top and made sure the cloning device had done it's job. He couldn't help but feel a little disappointed when he saw that it had indeed worked.

**  
** Clint spent the next few months survailing the pair, watching the feeds from the lab and the apartment. Tailing them when they went out to get readings around the city or to the research library.  He followed Darcy on her coffee, food and supply runs.  He watched from the balcony of the club as she danced to song after song on the dance floor below. Fighting back the urge to kill whenever she was hit on by a guy.  She would dance with them and let them buy her a drink or two but to his satisfaction she never let them get as close to her as he had. His favorite night was Sundays.  He never missed a single one.  His eyes glued to the monitor as he watched her shimmy and shake, dancing across the lab, organizing various papers before placing them on the copy machine and scanning them.  He had cloned the scanner as well and every paper she scanned went straight to SHIELD.  This was different than watching her at the club. She seemed freer, happier as she sang out loud to the music. Where the club was a release, the lab was a ritual, a renewal, she was restoring order.  He had been watching her dance one Sunday night when his phone rang. He muted the volume on the monitor and answered.

“Agent Barton” Clint recognized Sitwell’s nasally voice. “Code verification”

"Hotel, Alpha, Whiskey, Kilo, 17526." He instantly answered.

"Pack your gear Agent, you've been reassigned. Transport 0700 at usual place. Leave all surveillance running as is"

"Yes Sir" Clint replied and glanced briefly at the monitor as Darcy danced across the lab. "What time is my replacement arriving so that I can brief them?"

"Not your concern Agent!" Came Sitwell's terse reply "Your skills are needed elsewhere."  Then he hung up.

Clint shivered, when ever they referred to his "Skills" it meant he would have to kill someone.  After taking one last look at the dancing intern, he said a silent goodbye to Darcy and turned away to gather his gear.

 

Three weeks later at a bar in Singapore, his mission completed, he had watched a television news report as Greenwich was invaded by a giant space ships carrying tall pasty humanoids with white masks and pointy ears. The shaky cell phone footage showing Thor, red caped and armored, swinging his hammer as he battled said beings in front a huge broken marble building.  His phone vibrated and he picked up.

"Tasha are you seeing this?”

“Yep” she replied

“Who do we have on the ground?” He asked

“What do you mean? Aren't you on the ground?” Her deep voice growling concerned

“No I’m in Singapore. Sitwell pulled me onto another op three weeks ago.”  The screen shifts to another cell phone video.  He can see Darcy about to be killed when a skinny jean wearing hipster picks up a car and hurls it on top of the creatures. Darcy runs to him, grabs him and kisses him, she is bending him backwards as they disappear.  He can vaguely hear Natasha buzzing in his ear but is staring transfixed as the video plays again.

“Agent Barton!” He finally registers Fury’s angry voice snapping him out of his daze

“Yes Sir” he answers looking away from the screen

“Who replaced you?” by his tone he can picture Director Fury pinching the bridge of his nose

“Don’t know Sir, I was ordered to leave everything as is and head out” He looked at his watch and continued “I’m done here, I can be there in Fifteen hours, sooner if there is a quinjet available.” He takes out his wallet and pays his tab heading out of the bar to head back to his safe house.

“Stand down Agent” Fury orders “The conflict has been resolved, Thor defeated the dark elves and now we are sending a cleanup crew. Head to the HUB for debrief.”  Fury handed the phone back to Natasha. “Tasha, what about Foster and Selvig?” He asked, silently adding and Darcy.  “All of Fosters people are fine. Thor returned to Asgard. I am arranging your transport on the next military bird out of Singapore. See you at the HUB” She hung up.  Barton returned to the safe house, gathered his gear and headed out, hoping he would soon get the answers he wanted.

 

He didn't get any answers, his questions were deflected by _"That's classified Agent."_ He was sent out again on another op and another after that. Natasha was assigned to work with Captain America and STRIKE team and he barely saw either of them. He thinks he maybe losing his mind when he walks by the hanger at the HUB after a mission debrief, and he thought he saw Coulson boarding a giant plane with Agent May.  He chalks it up to exhaustion and moves on. Clint is in California on a two man op when Fury is shot and Captain America, Natasha and a guy with wings ( _WINGS!_ ) bring down three Helacarriers.  Natasha texts him a warning the SHIELD is compromised and to go to ground.  As he puts his phone away his fellow agent shouts _"Hail Hydra"_ pulling a gun on him.  He had never liked Torres very much anyway.  Clint takes what cash is left from the op and in Torres's wallet, packs his gear and buys a bus ticket to from Los Angeles to Albuquerque, New Mexico. He buys a second ticket to Cheyenne, Wyoming and switches buses at a rest stop in Las Vegas.  Almost a day and a half later he is at a safe house that only Coulson and Natasha and himself knew about.  He texts her with a burner phone then destroys the sim card and settles down to wait.  He is firing arrows into a scarecrow two days later when he hears a quinjet in the air above the farmhouse.  He quickly heads into the barn and has an arrow notched and ready from the hayloft when the jet lands and the ramp lowers.

"Hey Legolas" A familiar voice calls from inside the jet. "Natalie sent me to collect you."

"Stark?" Clint calls out cautiously lowering the bow heading down the ladder and out of the barn

"In the flesh." Tony calls out "Come on lets get out of here, all this fresh air is giving me hives"

Clint heads into the Farmhouse, securing the building and grabbing his go bag.

"Where are we going?" He asks Tony as he settles into the copilot seat in the cockpit.

"To my Tower" Tony answers not noticing Clint stiffen "It's where all the cool people go"

"Is Natasha there?" He asks as Tony fiddles with some buttons on the display and the jet takes off, cloaking tech activating

"Natalie, Dr. Banner and Thor" Tony extends his thumb, point and middle finger " Capsicle and his new winged friend Sam are out searching for The Winter Soldier, who happens to actually to be Bucky Barnes!" 

"Thor's back on Earth?" Clint interrupts him

"Yep" Tony replies "Oh and he brought his science posse, Dr Foster and Dr. Selvig and their intern." _Darcy_ Clint says silently

"I've installed them in their own labs next to Bruce's on the R&D floors" Tony swivels in his chair and hands Clint a tablet

"Jarvis has been sorting through the files that Natalie uploaded onto the web, I figured you might wanna check it out." Clint took the tablet and scrolled through the data. Stopping to reread a section before looking up at Tony in shock "Coulson is alive!!!!!"

He spent the rest of the flight engrossed in the tablet, barely responding to Tony's banter. They reach Manhattan by nightfall.  Landing on the pad at the top of The Tower.  It looked completely different from the last time he was there.  He hadn't realized how he would feel being back here for the first time since... Loki... Clint shook his head clearing it of the apprehension he felt starting to stir.  Stark has been talking to him this whole time but he ignores the man as he enters the glass building panic rising until he sees Natasha sitting on a white leather couch waiting for him and his relief is immediate.  He drops his gear and throws himself down next to her. He grabs the beer from her hand and takes a long sip from it before returning it to her.

"Fucking HYDRA" He says

"Fucking HYDRA" She agrees

"Don't forget Fury and Coulson are alive" Tony adds as he makes his way to the bar and pours himself a scotch. He grabs two beers from the fridge and hands them to Clint before settling himself down on the loveseat across from them.  Clint opens the bottles giving one to Tasha before leaning back.  Tony has Jarvis order pizzas and they sit and discuss the events of the last few days while they wait for the food to arrive.  As Clint opens the first pizza box, pepperoni, sausage, and bacon, the elevator arrives.  He recognizes Dr. Banner's scruffy visage and acknowledges him with a head nod as Tony hands Bruce a slice of veggie pizza. The elevator dings again and he hears a familiar bellow.

"Greetings my brother in arms!" Thor comes toward him, his arm out and Clint quickly stands and puts down his beer to clasp the others wrist. He almost drops his plate when the big man slaps him on the shoulder before grabbing the pizza box in front of Clint and heading off to the bar. Clint looks after the box longingly and Tasha sighs, plunks down a slice of meatball and black olive onto his plate. He shoves the remainder of the slice in his hand into his mouth and washes it down with a swig of beer as he looks up across the room and sees Darcy exiting the elevator with Foster and Selvig. Then he chokes. Tasha is slapping him on the back and lecturing him in Russian as he tries to catch his breath. He watches her grab plates for her companions loading them up with Veggie (for Foster) and anchovy (for Selvig) making sure that they are settled on bar stools before grabbing her own plate and wrestling the pizza box away from Thor, grabbing two slices before letting him have it back. She grabs water for her charges and a beer for herself and makes her way over to the loveseat asking Tony to shove over as she settles herself down.

"Hi I'm Darcy" She smiles, wiping her hand on her leggings before extending it out to him.

"Clint" He answers wiping his own hand before shaking hers, his eyes searching her face for some sign of recognition. It had been dark in the club that night and she had been a little tipsy.

"Have we met before?" She asks him "You look familiar" Clint eyes widen and opens his mouth to deny it when she snaps her fingers "New Mexico! Right? Jackbooted thug with Agent Son of Coul?"

"Yep! I was there" He answers a bit to quickly and takes a huge gulp from his beer. 

"I see you have met my Lightning Sister Darcy" Thor shouted from across the room as he crumpled the pizza box and turned to find another in the pile. Clint had given Tony shit when he requested Jarvis to order ten pies but now he saw why.

"Thor!" Darcy chided "We have talked about using Indoor voice!" Thor met the interns eyes and blushed before saying "Sorry" in a softer tone.  She and Tony start to bicker about some TV show and Clint uses the time to observe her while he munches on his second slice. Her hair is longer, and her face is thinner, her eyes have dark circles under them and he wonders if she is getting enough sleep. As he takes another sip of his beer he notices Natasha is looking at him with a thoughtful look on her face and he inwardly curses himself for getting caught. 

After all the pizza has been devoured (mostly by Thor) They all decide to turn in for the night.  Natasha shows him to his own apartment. She motions to her own residence across the hall from his and shows him how to unlock the door with his fingerprint.

"Are you going to tell her" She asks him as he opens the door and starts to enter

"Tell who?" He immediately answers fake yawning but she isn't fooled

"Darcy and Jane! Dumbass! That you spent six months spying on them."

"Wasn't planning on it" He yawns again for real this time and starts to close the door

"You should" she tells him as the door closes. Clint rests his back against the door, his mind reeling "Well Fuck!"

 

"Hey Jarvis" Clint asks the next day "Do you know where Dar uh Miss Lewis is?"

"Miss Lewis is in Dr. Foster's lab, Agent Barton" The A.I. answers him

"Can you show me where that is?" He looks up at the ceiling out of habit not really sure where to look when he is addressing the A.I.

"Certainly Agent Barton" A projection of a map of The Tower appears on the wall next to him. Highlighting his apartment and the lab. 

"Thank you Jarvis." Clint makes his way into the hall and walks to the elevator.  He almost chickens out and returns to his apartment but steps inside as the doors open.  Jarvis informs him of the correct floor and he thanks him again. Exiting the elevator he hears muffled music which gets louder as he turns the corner. As he approaches the glass and looks into the lab he is startled at the view in front of him. Darcy, hair flying and hips swinging gathering paperwork and what looks like the lid of one of last nights pizza boxes off a large desk. She turns and dances across the lab to a counter with a large scanner on it.  Clint's mouth goes instantly dry and his pants get tighter as he watches her grab the counter with both hands and twist and shimmy to the floor to pick up a paper that dropped. She quickly sorts the papers and arranges them into the scanner feeder, then twirls back the desk to sort pens singing out with the chorus. Clint snaps out of his daze and hurries around to corner jabbing the elevator button in panic. 

"Jarvis what day is this? He demands when he is back in his apartment

"Thursday Sir" The calm British voice answers him

"I thought Darc..um Miss Lewis did her weekly filling on Sundays."

"Yes Sir that was indeed correct but she changed it. She calls it Thorsday."

"Of course she does!" Clint sighed and decided to raid the bar upstairs for some dearly needed alcohol.

 

Clint spends the next week exploring The Tower, shooting targets from an eagle's nest in the gym and sparring with Thor and Natasha. With Jarvis's help he finds himself crawling through the air ducts and mapping them out in his head.  He sees Darcy in the evenings, Tony has decreed that family dinners for the Tower's occupants are mandatory, and after getting sick of takeout, Darcy steps in and does the brunt of the cooking, Clint makes himself available to be her sous chef, helping her with whatever prep work she needs.  Natasha volunteers to taste test and watches him, sitting silenty at the kitchen island never speaking out loud but he can read her thoughts.  The following "Thorsday" finds him in the air duct above her lab, watching her shimmy and twirl to The Black Keys "Gold on the ceiling"  He loses himself once again in the rhythm of the music and swing of her hips. For the first time in what feels like forever, Clint is at peace.... A peace that is abruptly shattered by the sound of shattering glass.  Darcy hit the floor behind Jane's desk and is cowering under it as another glass window shatters. Without another thought Clint kicked the air vent out and dropped to the floor.  Rolling into a crouch next to Darcy, he visually checks to see she's okay before turning and assessing the threat.  Overhead a detached Ironman suit gauntlet whizzes by taking out the rest of the lab window in its wake. Clint pulls his knife out of his boot and takes aim waiting for the gauntlet to make another pass.  As it does, he throws the blade, smirking with satisfaction as it struggles against the wall, the knife dead center through its palm.

"Jarvis! Tell Stark that we found his detached appendage" Standing up from his crouch and leaning down to offer Darcy a hand.

"Already done Sir and I've also informed Maintenance and they are sending a tech to the lab immediately Sir" Darcy scrambles out from under the desk and starts to get up but her foot slips on some glass and she grabs his arms to keep her from falling. Clint grabs her waist to steady her.  He feels her squeeze his arms, and he goes rigid as she rubs her hands up and down them. His gaze meeting hers

"Biceps?" She asks as her eyes spark with recognition

"Fuck it" he answers before pulling her close and kissing her.

Clint Barton is not a stalker or a creeper.  He's a spy and a protector and a Man... in Love.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saw AOU on Friday. This is not AOU Complaint. I will go down with this ship! Its my favorite next to Shieldshock, Wintershock, WinterShieldShock, ThunderTaser, Tasertricks, Irontaser, Widowshock and whatever Bruce/Darcy are called... Ok fine! I would ship Darcy with a tree and probably subscribe to every story written about it.


	3. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony goes insearch of his wayward appendage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just when I thought I was finished another head cannon fires and this scene is the result.

** Epilouge **

Tony stumbles out of his workshop, his eyes glued to his starkpad tracking his gauntlet.  JARVIS opens the elevator door closing it after he stepped inside and automatically takes him to the R & D labs one floor above without a prompt.  

"Jarvis, isolate the faulty code. The VERONICA gauntlet should have attached to the suit, not taken a left at Albuquerque and destroyed Foster's lab."

"Yes Sir" His A.I. replied as the elevator doors opened and Tony headed around the corner still not bothering to look up from the tablet until an arm shot out across the front of his body stopping his forward progress.

"Oooof" Tony looked up in surprise and stepping back from the red headed assassin.

"Natalie, I don't have time" he started to step around her but she put her arm out again,  shushed him and pointed into the lab.

Through the demolished remains of the windows he could see two figures kissing. 

"Natalie" Tony whispered " Why is Legolas mackin on our Lewis?"

"Because, Clint is in love with her" She smirked with satisfaction.

They watched as Darcy pulled back and slapped Clint hard across his face, then grabbed his collar and pulled his mouth back to hers. Clint's arms wrapped around her lifting her up and half turning to deposit her on top of Jane's desk, his mouth never leaving hers as her legs locked themselves around his waist. 

"Are they gonna have lab sex?" Tony whispered as he watched Darcy pull off Clint's shirt and toss it over her shoulder. "They are totally gonna have lab sex!" His attention suddenly diverted from the scene in front of him by a flicker of sparks from the wall at the back of the lab. He started to step forward towards the lab door when he was grabbed by the back of his collar and dragged back around the corner and pulled towards the elevator.  

"But my gauntlet!" Tony whined making grabby hands in the direction of the lab. "My Guantlet!"

"Jarvis, please lock down this floor, nobody in or out for at least an hour, better make it two. ," Natasha added when a half giggle, half moan sounded from around the corner "I'm invoking privacy mode on Clint and Darcy's behalf, please delete all video feeds from just before the kiss until now" 

"Yes Ma'am" Jarvis answered as the elevator's door opened and she dragged Tony inside. They could hear music start playing over the labs sound system. Her grip tightened on Tony's collar as he tried to lunge out

"My Gauntlet!" He whined again then as the doors closed he cocked his head "Wait is that Marvin Gaye?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for the kind words and kudos.

**Author's Note:**

> The song she is dancing to is "Black Sheep" by Gin Wigmore


End file.
